I don't know what that is

Is it a kind of anger? Perhaps, I don't even have the right to show my anger.
Sometimes the power of words is unexpectable. They can kill people silently.
My heart is injured and it never be healed.
It is too tired to chase behind you.
Happy for you.

I've deeply considered how my life goes on.
I am old now.
Future seems to close to me but I haven't decided what I am going to do.
Not I don't want to take the responsiblity of my future but I just don't know what to do.
Maybe college life doesn't suit me.
Before, people kept saying you suppose to study and you are the guy that can handle it.
Well. the fact is the fact. See the failure of me today.
God, if you can hear me, lead me to find my future.