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Tomorrow is my first exam. As normal, as always, it stressed me out. No way to shout and everything goes mad. Fatigue... Exhausted... Death...  7 days to go. I need to have fun, so fun much, god. I am mad.

自從所謂讀大學之後，沒有片刻覺得安寧。 不敢去思索，不敢怠慢。 因為一切好像都沒有給你退後的路。 為甚麼別人說讀大學是多麼美好? 為甚麼我的大學生活比中學更辛苦? 不想去想了，星期六還有一個考試...

開sem第四個星期了 比較起上個sem 顯然工作繁重得多了 書好像永遠都溫不完 功課也未開始做 沒有特別緊張 沒有想哭或是甚麼 只是又開始不知道自己在做甚麼而已 我想回家了 又想出去工作了 不想一個18小時都在學習

電話有接收電郵的功能 好像訊息一樣有震動提示 好的地方是學校有甚麼消息通知就可以最快得到 可是卻令我每次都緊張得很 有時間學校公報成績丶考試時間丶功課等等 接二連三的響個不停 有時候收到一些垃圾 又害我緊張一番 我當然有想過關掉此功能 又怕自己錯過什麼重要的東西 還是星期六日比較好 學校放假 也放我一碼 至少那些電郵只不過是有的沒的

七時起床 八時岀門 九時上課 一時午飯 五時下課 六時晚飯 七時溫習 十一回家 一時睡覺 每日重複着一模一樣的，日子久了，失落感很重。沒有進步，沒有前進，只是拉着一具軀殼走每日應走的路。明知自己不喜歡，明知沒有未來，也是要走。 雖然有埋積如山的工作，卻是毫無價值的重擔。慢慢的，我感受不到存在的意義。或是說，我感受不到自己實實在在的存在。如果現在把我從世界刪除，也沒有甚麼改變。究竟我在做甚麼？我無法繼續無謂的生活。

That's all I want to say. Thank you.

前兩天還在說服人珍惜生命，努力人生。今日我仕途失意，萬念俱灰。 大學，真的不是給我這種低能兒去玩。我嘗試過，努力過，也許我太蠢了。有時間，我真的不需要安慰，反而想要叫我放棄的鼓勵。灰心的我，想過要否回香港讀書。但回去我又可以讀甚麼？我這樣沒有用的人，又一次想逃避，又一次想一走了之。想當初是我苦苦哀求才予我岀國的機會。今日，無奈我又提岀同樣的要求。錢花了，淚灑了，還有回去的理由嗎？我逞強，我要面子，就這樣回去實被人笑到面黃。 第二天，還是耐不住眼淚，苦苦的哭著，然後回去繼續。

苦等多個星期終於等到mid semester break, 結果每日都lock自己在library, 假期不是讓你好好休息, 而是給你整日時間去溫習和catch up 有時間去做preparation是一個bonus.

真心好好好躁 每日就係浪費時間 滿腦子都是要殺人的話 溫習 我需要寧靜 我需要空間 不要將你整份功課都要我解釋 我花上和你一樣的時間去理解 其實我自己都有工作 每次都問我問我 我不是你私人補習老師 受夠了 你的功課你自己做！

I am so afraid to answer the question like what you want to be? Well, I don't know. Recently, there is an assessment of human movement which asked which field of specialist you are most interested? I stopped and considered and headache. Can I say I don't know and it's done? Why there must be an answer for that question?

This is week one of my university life. I feel so weird to be called new fresher. It can be described as bittersweet. Things are not going quite smoothly. At first, I was quite excited to be a uni student. There are countless experiences have been told that to be an uni student, you have to be so independent and mature. However, while you never experience to taste of it, it is no way to understand how terribly harsh that you can't imagine. Truly, you can say I am still so childish. University is really a place to build you or kill you. As you have to adapt to such competitive environment, you have to force yourself into it. I feel the pressure. I am tired. I really want to give up. Well, I am probably the most useless person to be honest. Negative thought and words rush out from my mind. I sometimes can't bare how I am either. As I am an international student, I believe the situation much worse than you can imagine. I am hardly to join any groups, hardly to understand what th...