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Today is Christmas eve. Another hot summer Christmas is coming. I don't like hot but I love Christmas. No matter how hot it is, it doesn't affect my love and excitement towards Christmas. My friend and I looked for present for our friend. It is still a secret. Shuuuuu... it is a headache. I finally ate Taro in city. It is a Japanese Ramen restaurant. It offers the pickled veggie, I can eat tons of them. After a shopping day, I headed to my friend's house and did some packing. We are ready for the Christmas party tomorrow!!!!

23rd December 2015 My best uni friend came over and helped my with moving. So much work has done in the whole morning. I am glad that 90% of my stuff has moved. I shouted her lunch and coffee afterwards. We had a nice chat in the afternoon. She helps me with IELTS speaking. Questions are like, can you describe your hometown, what is the different between... She pointed out that my limited vocabulary is my weakness and she emphasised the importance of sentence structure. I know it has always been my killed pointed. I should have know more and read more. After an academic afternoon, I headed back to the shopping centre for Christmas shopping. Most shops opened till 12am yesterday and it is the only day of a year in Brisbane or Australia. My friend and I shopped until 11pm and we also did grocery shopping for the Christmas party. When you have got something to go for, you will forget the sadness and tiredness. Busy and happy Christmas

Another shopping day for Christmas. I want to get my BFF a graduation and pre Christmas present. Besides, she is leaving on the next day. You know what it is so hard to choose a present for who has already got the world. She doesn't need anything else at all. Finally, I decided to get her favourite ring from Pandora. But it is also a challenge to buy her ring. Two headache questions are what is her size and has she get this already... I spent a whole day long to get contact with her mum and her boyfriend. At last, I sorted it out. Today is the Chinese winter day, family members should have gathered together and enjoy food together. We, couple of friends were joined her family to have steak... new trend, steak on Chinese traditional day. She bought me an accessary for graduation gift. It is a leather bracelet which a leather K and a plasticised paper plane. On the paper plane, its print is the map of Brisbane and Hong Kong. This is the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. ...

One week has gone... another Monday has come. More and more packing... Lying on bed and watching drama... Nap in the afternoon... Suddenly, I received a call from my friend. She said she came to me and helped me to pack. Actually, there was not much we can do at the moment. She persuaded me to go job hunting. I was not motivated at all because I am so tired. I am still addicted to coffee. If I don't "take" coffee, I feel headache and tired. But, she was so insisted. OK, why not. I handed in a few resumes. Some of them look quite interested but I don't hold any hope at all. Before going back home, I bough some prawn and edamame for dinner. Continuing the unfinished drama... and my unproductive day has gone.

Sunday. I went to plat squash with my old colleges. I haven't done any exercise for at least one year. Sedentary lifestyle is the best description for me for the last year. It's such an ironic term for an exercise and nutrition student. I can't move more than I expect, absolutely fatigue. After an hour of exercise, we went to have Korean food. This restaurant is where we always go in the first year we came to Brisbane. Overtime, we explore some many good food around Brisbane and we never come back. The food is still good, just our tastebuds have changed. I used to hang out with the same group of people and now I joined in a completely new social group. New experience, fresh and joyful. After meal, we are exhausted enough so we decide to go home. Some of them were going to Southbank to movie an outdoor movie, some of them needed to work at night. I travelled back home with one of them. We missed two buses which wasted us half an hour. That's our fault. We were too f...

Saturday. Let me think what I have done on Saturday. These days I have been so unproductive. When there is no target, I lost the motivation to work on anything. I am sorry that I can't remember what I have done on Saturday.

I headed to city, tired to do more job hunting. However, nothing gained. I realised maybe it is not a right timing for hurting job. As the long Christmas and new year holiday is coming soon, they don't need extra help at the moment. Before going to my friend's graduation ceremony, I grabbed myself a nice cup of coffee and Japanese chicken katsu rice. Maybe this is the only good thing about jobless, I have plenty of time. To be honest, I am still struggling whether I should stay or not, should I take the risk? Should I face this challenge again? We are in disadvantage, but can I change it? Anyway, to apply a graduate visa, IELTS is a must. Though I don't really like it, I registered it. There was an interesting scene. The reaction of the people who just received the result, anger, frustration... I went back home before going to the Christmas party held by my old colleges. I went to my friend's house before the party. Interestingly, I felt excited. I always go to fr...

It comes to day 4. I woke up late. There was no more alarm. It went off at 5-6-7 every morning in my last 3 years. I don't know is it a good thing but finally I got some good sleep and woke up naturally. I told myself it is only the first week of jobless life, enjoy it. Still, I can't wait to job hunt. I can't stand myself being non productive at all. Thing doesn't go as smooth as I thought. I have been walking around the city, valley and places near my home, handed in number of resume, I am not optimistic towards it. Later on, I went to my friend's place. We DIY and graduate pikachu. She made the hat and outfit for it teddy. I tailored it a bit and it looked much better than those sell in shop. Give us a call, we tailer one for you! Then I stayed there for dinner. You know what, we made mango and chicken and it was so yummy. It is a very simple dish. With a touch of mango, it delights the whole dish. Now is the mango season in Australia. Cooking with mango bring...

Wednesday I continued my packing, threw away few bags of stuff. Nothing worths to store. Life doesn't seem any easier after leaving uni. I decided to delay my travel plan, simply because now is the peak season and shortage of money. Concern of living, struggles with staying or not... these issues will never concern me before. Maybe it is a good time to learn about how to live myself. I mean how you earn your own living. You will see all the luxury life you have spent were contributed by your parents. Me, doing nothing. Hence, tomorrow I will go for job hunting. You can't fully understand someone without experience the same thing. I never understand the frustration of a fresh graduate before I am one of those. And now, I can say I got this and that's terrifying. May the force be with me!

Quitting from uni doesn't mean I must lose a brighter future, but at least lost a chance to have it. I won't change this title until I persuade or convince myself that is absolutely wrong. What happened in day 2 was packing. I spent almost an entire day to pack my stuff but still far way to finish. My friend in the UK asked me whether I am interested in visiting the UK. Of course I do. I was planning to go to NY, but free accommodation and free tour guide in the UK, why not. People are greedy. When you decided to go to the UK, how about Germany, Austria, Italy, France, Norway, Sweden.... come on, it probably the best chance to go travel. I don't know when I can go again. Another friend in HK asked me if I want to do some travel as well, Korea, Japan... so many ideas but so hard to fulfil everyone. Let's put it aside first. At the night time, I started to worry about jobs and money and future. I asked for many advice but still haven't sorted it out. What is my...

I count the day I hand in the program withdraw form as day 1. I woke up very early in this morning, not because of sleepless, in fact I slept pretty good after making that decision, but desperate to get this over. The process was simple. I went to the student centre, filled a form, informed the school and that's it. I even sent an email to the course coordinator. And, yes, I'm no longer a student. I can go wherever I went and step into the workforce, so on. Perhaps I think too much. How to explain to all relatives, friends and other people. Do I need to tell them all? Must I? I am not ready to do so. I met my senior in physio. Before I decided to quit, this meeting's purpose was to encourage me not to give up and hang in there, I quit and this become an experience shared and farewell meeting. I saw the passion from his eyes, he is positive and loves god. When you are being with some positive people, you becomes positive. At the same time, you can see how negative you ar...

It has been a very tough time for the last 2 weeks. I started my master degree in physiotherapy. I was frustrated and depressed. I asked myself is that the life I want for the coming two years. Physiotherapist makes money, gets secure job and possibly stays in Australia, I definitely know that. Obviously, I overwhelmed this course and my psychological intolerance. I cried in the morning, between and after class. I studied day and night. I lost appetite. I am not motivated at all. Finally, I decided to give it up. This is a very hard decision to make. It is hard to face my failure. Yet, I haven't felt regret. Guilt, lost and even more frustration, but life goes on. So, I decided to catch up everything I lost in these 4 years. "Live like a human, live with no regret. Be strong, stay strong. Be confident and love myself. " It is almost the end of year. I state these as my goal in 2016. I will restart to record my life here again. My dearest friend.